Waffles, bacon and going home.

"I am absurdly excited," he wrote.

As I saw the words appear to me instantly (thanks to gmail chat), I couldn't help but laugh.

He wasn't excited about the prospect of my getting on to a plane to go and visit him and a country that I love (almost as much as here ) in six weeks or so. After all, I am a simple American woman who doesn't speak proper English with the correct public school or Oxbridge accent. I can barely remember the last time I've been into Sainbury's and I don't make tea properly. I've never been to a fox hunt (nor do I plan to go) and I don't know the rules of rugby or cricket.

So my visit, while entertaining, does not make him ABSURDLY happy.

So, ladies and gentleman, what is pushing him over the moon?

A waffle maker.

Several weeks ago, I asked him about what he'd like me to bring on my visit to England, and he told me that waffles and New England clam chowder were the most notable foods to come out of the United States.

I must admit, I was a little baffled with that answer. But we have to humor those who have never eaten totally awesome American cuisine.

So I went and found him a waffle maker. I figured that since I cannot bring waffles with me on a plane, I should try to give the gift that keeps on giving.

Give a man a waffle and he eats for a day. Give a man a waffle maker and he eats them every day, throws a party, and makes waffles for his friends, neighbors, associates and anyone who wants a waffle for that matter.


And yet, he refuses to understand that bacon can go with waffles.

"It's barbaric! It's awful!" he said to me after kindly taking the call during his waffle party later that evening.

(He makes those words sound so pretty).

It would be one thing if he were not a consumer of meat. That I could understand. But eschewing American-Style bacon without even trying it? That doesn't work. Not on my watch.

He said that he'll make the waffles and enjoy the maple syrup, but he won't eat them with bacon. That's un-American! (Well, I know he isn't American, but you get my point!)

Mark my words, readers. He'll eat his words with tasty American breakfast goodness.

When my feet hit terra firma on the Queen's land, I will go and search for 'streaky bacon' (which is what the British call our beautiful American-Style bacon), and I will eat it with my waffles and be happy.

And I won't forget the coffee either!