15 March 2008

A few things to do on a Saturday.

1. Always take a sweater (a jumper for you Britons) on a 2.5 mile walk on a Saturday in Washington DC (to an appointment). You'll need it for the first part of the walk and then you'll take it off later. Always remember to wear another shirt under that sweater. It prevents embarrassing moments.

2. When you walk another mile to join a Rockstar for hangover pizza superhot date (her hangover, not yours, as you spent your Friday night in bed after a long work week), you feel good that at least you're not in high school having to go on a field trip to the Spy museum. You put your head down and walk past the kids quickly.

3. You remind yourself that you were never cool and could never get the drug references on your superhot date's sweater, but neither could she, so it's all good.

4. You and your date enjoy witty conversation about coincidences, men, and how much Nutella is like the hitachi magic wand of food. It makes everything better. EVERYTHING. You wonder about how many women who have hitachi magic wands and Nutella have boyfriends, or if they need them or want them...

5. For an evening snack, you put said Nutella on an 365 Entertainment Cracker (with wheatgerm!) and put a small slice of brie on top of that. "MMMMM. Fancy," you think all the while knowing that this concoction is probably a crime against nature to some people. And you realize you don't care and think that you'll eat more of this tomorrow.

6. While sitting in a convertible German racing machine goddess, you catch yourself in the side view mirror as you are travelling up 14th street under the open nearly spring sky. You think, "Gosh, my superhot date is right, I do look cute in this car. " You make a note to yourself to start looking into purchasing a convertible (perhaps a nice pre-owned Boxster) in the next twenty-five years. The color? Probably black, a dark red, or silver.

7 comments:

Grad School Reject said...

See, the way you compared Nutella really only works for your female readers. Because when I read it I thought, "Jebus Cryst! Nutella is going to start costing me 50.00 plus shipping handling if I want to surprise my wife with it?"

m.a. said...

Well, you could stock up! Nutella is only 7.99 for two huge tubs at Costco. I don't know about the cost of the magic wand...

Megarita said...

Magic wand is a bargain at $40 or so. Ahem.

I agree about the Boxter. headscarf opportunities abound.

cuff said...

What if you put nutella on the wand? I'm thinking double-excellent.

voxproletariat said...

Nutella is the only way someone could screw a bunch of women out of $8 for a pint of cheap chocolate icing.

m.a. said...

Megarita, Hear, hear, sister!
In twenty five years, I do hope you'll join me for a spin about town!

Cuff, You're naughty, but smart...

Voxpro, blah blah blah blah. It's still yummy.

Jackart said...

A boxter signals one thing: That you cannot afford a 911.