15 June 2008

Wedding Culture (Part two)

I wasn't nervous about giving my toast until the best man demanded that he go first. Then I was left to wait to say what I needed to say.

My toast began with a joke from the seriousness of the previous speech. And then from there it was fine. I ended up using architecture as a type of metaphor. It went over like gangbusters.

So thanks for all of the advice, everyone. It worked.

I had more fun at that wedding than I have at just about anything in a while. I'm so happy for my friend. She looked beautiful and she was glowing. What a day!

I had something heavy weighing on the corner of my consciousness, but it didn't affect me nearly as much as I thought it might. It helped to be at my best friend's wedding to put that into perspective. I have to continue to tell myself that some powerful relationships and friendships are built to last, and that others are much more transitory. Neither is better or worse than the other, they're just different.

The only awkward moment during the weekend came when one of the married groomsmen said, "Being single is a selfish, selfish life." He didn't know that I wasn't married, nor that my life is far from simple on that subject. He continued to say, "I'm tired of men in their thirties who just don't move on to the next phase of life and get married." He also said: "And sometimes, women are too picky."

(I felt really uncomfortable for the duration of a limousine ride, especially when I heard the phrase "the next phase (or was it part?) of life." I'd just encountered that line earlier that week. )

I thought of some words that I wanted to say, not to him, the groomsman, about that very subject, but to someone else:

"You're at fault for what you claim fault for, and I'm at fault for not sticking to my guns during October of two years ago. My head knew what was going to transpire at that time; I should have just let it go then, but my damned heart was an absolute fucking idiot."

Instead, I stayed silent in both cases.

There were so many things I learned about myself this weekend, but the most valuable for me is one that's a little more shallow: wearing a pretty dress and dancing are the best medicines for just about anything.

8 comments:

Essentially Me said...

I'm glad you had a great time and that the speech went over well.

As for what that man said ... it's easy to have many opinions on subjects that don't concern you.

freckledk said...

Oh, good. I'm glad it went well. And I hope you can re-wear that dress. I'm sure we can find use for it.

Claven said...

Your heart is supposed to be stupid.

Casey said...

I can speak only for myself here, but you're damn right I am selfishly single. You know I have held on to it fairly tenaciously recently.

Be selfish and only worry about pleasing you a while. It's great.

ilyjk.com said...

The lesson, as always, is to know your audience.

ilyjk.com said...

Hmph. Well that kind of makes me look spammy.

-Jelly

Megarita said...

Dresses and dancing (and the occasional cocktail) ARE the cures for everything! YAY!!

Blue Dog Art said...

My brother is 38 and still single. He also owns one of those lovely B'more row houses on Fait Ave.