Dear New Year Resolutioners:
I congratulate you on your new found dedication to fitness. My commitment has ebbed over the last year, and I can admit this without shame. I too am recommitting myself to fitness and losing that unfortunate weight I gained during the last six months of the year from Hades.
However, unlike you, I am at the gym to actually work out. I don't like that you come in large groups. I don't like that you have to do every part of your exercise routine together or you'll pout and complain loudly: "OMG if we had come two minutes earlier WE COULD BE TOGETHER ON THE TREADMILLS!" Especially if there are more than two of you. It messes with things--Gym Feung Shi or Vatsu if you will.
I go to the gym with two fabulous women from work. We all go in to the building together put in our headphones, and head to equipment and work out. We don't talk, we don't mozy on the treadmill at 2.0 miles an hour shouting about how much weight we are going to lose and then jump off of the treadmill after 10 minutes declaring victory.
ARGH! You're not working out. You haven't broken a sweat, and your loud talking is messing with my awesome mix of tunes.
I do not send you good wishes until you learn to be more polite.
I experienced this today all the while thinking of a friend of mine who has had to deal with the worse people restarting their commitment to the gym where he works out. Fortunately, he had a gym colleague to ask them to stop being so uncollegial . I wish he could send that messenger our way.
I would rather use the stair climber next to the man who drips sweat on me (Oh, wait, that happened today) than deal with you.
But seriously folks, I wish that there were a different date for Fitness New Year. I wonder if Future Surgeon General and cute guy Dr. Sanjay Gupta could help with that? What would be a good Fitness New Year Date? Anyone?