17 March 2009

I asked Hammer to help me, and he came to the rescue.

THE QUESTIONS (are in bold and are provided by the stalwart Hammer.)

1. In one of your newer posts, you said that you had recently written a really good letter to someone. Who wrote the best letter you ever received, and what made it exceptional?

Well, I am going to say that I have received three very excellent letters over the course of my life, and I don't care to call one of them the best. One of them I received at the beginning of college, from my first honest-to-goodness boyfriend. It was the first letter I received in my mailbox that year. He wrote a very heartfelt missive--he wrote about how he'd miss me during our first semester away from each other. I had never felt so special. That relationship did not work out, of course, but I loved that letter very much. I still have it somewhere.

The second letter was technically an email from a newer friend of mine. He is a geographer by trade and has a gift for describing land, people, and experiences. If he weren't doing geography full time, I would suggest that he write travel narratives full time.

The third letter was technically a birthday card. It had perhaps twenty five words. But it was enough. More than enough.

2. If CERN's Large Hadron Collider were modified to blast sub-atomic elements from the remains of Isaac Hayes and James Brown directly into each other, would funk be created, destroyed, or conserved? And if France were destroyed as a side effect of this experiment, would France deserve it? (For bonus points, use MS Paint to create a crude drawing that dramatically illustrates part of your answer.)

I think that there would be a precarious and beautiful detente with funk's careful conservation. I don't believe that France would deserve it's inevitable destruction because when I was 20, I spent time in Paris and there were many, many posters celebrating a concert of Mr. Brown's. I rather like France, but at least funk would survive.

An MS Paint depiction: (Click to enlarge):

3. Of all the long dead writers you've studied, who would have made some of the best bloggers and why? Who would have struggled mightily with the blog format?

That's a really great question. Without a doubt, Ben Jonson would be the best blogger ever. He would constantly update and let you know what he was doing, who he was doing it with, and why he was so awesome. In fact, he would probably be one of those ubiquitous, non stop bloggers. Jonson was a bit of an attention whore in life, so in bloggerland? He would have been even more so.

I think that Shakespeare would have been a pretty good blogger, and he should have had a nice solid following. But I think that he would have been a blogger with many fans waiting for his next post, much like, you Hammer, or Grad School Reject.

I think that Christopher Marlowe would have been a terrible blogger. He was too busy doing things he could never have written about. You know, spying, traveling, being stabbed in the eye. I don't want to be stabbed in the eye, but I'd love to be a terrible blogger like Christopher Marlowe would have been. It would certainly mean that I've got some exciting top secret things going on. Perhaps one day, I will.

4. Your writing suggests that you grab hold of things/people/ideas tightly and can be reluctant to let them go. Has this kung-fu grip been a blessing, a curse, or a mixed bag?

More than anything, I think that it is a curse. I've always wanted to adopt a more Zen Buddhist approach to things. I'm just miserable at letting things go into the wind. I think that it's because I have a mixture between a Type A and Type B personality. I want to let go of these burdens, and yet, I don't. I need to take lessons from Reya in being more accepting of things about myself. Perhaps I'll get there with time.

5. Literally speaking, if the strength of your aforementioned kung-fu grip were increased to Superman-like levels due to accidental exposure to large amounts of extra-terrestrial radiation, please explain how you would use this crushtastic ability to fight crime in DC. Also, which blogger(s) would you choose as your crime-fighting sidekick(s) and why?

Well, I certainly think that would use these new found powers to squeeze out the drug traffickers who are certainly selling to children in the neighborhoods around here. I would also use my skills to stop things that aren't necessarily crimes that will get you jail time. For instance, it really gets on my nerves when groups of obnoxious teenagers (or ever young adults) try to intimidate other people. No one should be bothered going about daily business. Being able to help people with little things like that could certainly help with overall community happiness. I like when people are just able to go about their own business.

As for a partner, I would have to choose someone who I know has a terrific sense of community and who would believe in what he or she was doing. And so, I would have to choose Reya. I think that she has a gift for noticing things that someone with a super kung fu grip could change.

Thank you so much Hammer, for asking me these questions. I really appreciate it. You've got me thinking about writing and being more creative again.


mysterygirl! said...

I can totally relate to the kung fu grip category. But don't be too hard on yourself-- that you feel things deeply and cherish them is a valuable quality, too. I guess it's just a matter of balance. Like everything always is. :(

Also, it's too bad that Marlowe would be a crappy blogger because his blog sounds awesome.

Hammer said...

Very nicely done, and of course the MS Paint drawing cracks me up to no end. I think it's the simple circle-slashes and frowny face that put it over the top.

Thanks for the thoughtful answers and for playing along!

suicide_blond said...

sooo glad to know the funk would survive..that was keeping me up at night

rothko said...

Good questions and great answers. I've always thought Virginia Woolf would have been a great blogger. That is, if the "room of her own" had had an internet connection.

Reya Mellicker said...


I have to say it again.

Oh My God.

Best questions in the multiverse - and - who could have responded as well as you? No one, absolutely no one.

#3. Best interview question I have ever read in my life. Your response? PERFECTION! The drawing is ... well ... pure genius. Love the unhappy face.

I am in awe. Thank you!

Reya Mellicker said...

Accepting? You think I'm accepting of things?


On the blog I am such a bluffer. Don't tell anyone.

Washington Cube said...

As always, I love the MS Paint work. I have this mild fetish for them.

It's funny you mentioned literary bloggers, because I was pondering the same question myself only about Twitter. I think Mark Twain would be great.Emily Dickinson, too. "I saw a bee." The end. John Keats would suck. He'd be making multiple entries about that simpering Fanny Brawne and coughing all the time, making him hit the wrong keys and well, yanno...***Brite star***rock on.

I'm glad Reya wrote that, because I always see her as poking around and challenging things...sorta like Che of D.C. Way too much outside the lines to zen it.

Lately you guys have been writing amazing stuff. Group hugz.

Oh, oh, oh..another one...Henry Miller!!!! With Pix!!!! Whoa. Cover that UP!

Reya Mellicker said...

The Che of DC? WOW. I am so honored. Wow.

Washington Cube said...

You're a brave woman. You are the Don Quixote waving your lance. You will brave the world and report back not only with what is, but what could be.

Washington Cube said...

Ok, M.A., write something. Yes it's me "noodging" you at 7:30 a.m.