10 November 2009

Struggle to write.

I miss the days when writing for the blog, or the older version of this blog was pretty much a necessity to me. The purging was good for me. I got to a point where I was unfiltered (or as unfiltered as I am capable of being on any given day).

Now, I struggle to put anything on here because I don't know what I want to write about and what I don't want to write about. I don't want this to turn into some kind of a confessional.

It's not meant to be.

I have been accused of sitting on the sidelines lately and I can't say that the assessment is wrong. I have witnessed quite a bit lately, and I've not been very good about pushing myself to be included in things, and as a result, I haven't.

And now, I suppose I have little to write about that is clever or funny or anything.

I think that I want to go out and do things and meet people, but I don't seem to be doing that. I blame my inability to say no to work, and other requests of my time that aren't too beneficial to me.

There are some readers whom I miss and I feel their absence when I tap the metaphorical mic of this blog asking "Is this thing
on? Is it?"

I think it's this particular time of year that makes me indecisive and a little mopey. The last two months of the year force reflection, and introspection and I don't have it in me this year.

I understand why people go on vacations at this time--to get out of their own heads.

I'd like to get out of mine. Any ideas how I can do that would be most appreciated.


Jackart said...

Take a shit-load of drugs and go on a 4 day bender.

That's what I would do

susan said...

The 19th is coming up soon, and with it...Terra Cotta Warriors! This loyal reader would be more than happy to go check them out with you :)

Jenni said...

Don't be so hard on yourself! Think of it as fun, and then revel in the satisfaction of putting your thoughts down on paper (or on screen) if not for release, but to have them to look back on when you're feeling nostalgic.

You'll be thankful that they are there.

suicide_blond said...


cs said...

I've been having trouble getting motivated as well. Part of it is that I'm busier and part of it is that I'm working on other things. But I haven't completely abandoned things.

Hey, how about a song? Break out the Dano.