Open Letter to the Jerkface who stole my bike.

Dear Jerkface,

Today, after finally finding a bridesmaid's dress to wear (the halter dress has been replaced with a cute cupcake number), I found that my bike (or actually the bike that my brother had been so kind to lend me) had been stolen from the gated enclosure in front of my apartment.

You are probably not a blog reader, but if you are, you had better beware.

Karma, the kind that I am invoking with all my willpower to mow you down and make you cry and wish that you had never thought to steal from another human being, is a bitch and she's coming to get you.

That is all for now.

yours most angrily,

ma.