09 March 2008

Open Letter to the Jerkface who stole my bike.

Dear Jerkface,

Today, after finally finding a bridesmaid's dress to wear (the halter dress has been replaced with a cute cupcake number), I found that my bike (or actually the bike that my brother had been so kind to lend me) had been stolen from the gated enclosure in front of my apartment.

You are probably not a blog reader, but if you are, you had better beware.

Karma, the kind that I am invoking with all my willpower to mow you down and make you cry and wish that you had never thought to steal from another human being, is a bitch and she's coming to get you.

That is all for now.

yours most angrily,

ma.

6 comments:

Jean said...

That is why I named my bike Stella. I'm ready, anytime to do the "STELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."

Jenni said...

I would sick my dogs on him, but unfortunately they would probably only lick him to death.

I am so sorry...People are jerks. I hope he falls off of it while riding it and breaks his face.

cuff said...

I commiserate with you, but if the bike wasn't locked, gated enclosure or no, it simply screamed "take me." A few weeks ago, another parent had his kid's trail-a-bike stolen from the bike rack in front of the elementary school. The lock was cut, the trail-a-bike hauled off (you can't ride the thing on its own...). Scumbags.

susan said...

So uncool! Geez!

HomeImprovementNinja said...

That sux. I had my bike stolen I dupont. My place was too small to keep it inside, so I chained it up by a street sign. First someone stole the seat...just the seat. At least that gave me an excuse not to ride it. A month later, someone stole one of the tires. Then a couple of months after that someone stole what was left. It was a crappy bike from Target, otherwise I'm sure it would've ben gone sooner.

Dexter Colt said...

Check Craig's List...