26 May 2008

The Culture of Creepy: An unfortunate Digression.

I'm sorry to interrupt my normally semi astute observations on architecture, books, bathtubs, design and all things awesome. I will get back to those very soon.

But I have to say this. There's no other way to put this out there into the universe.

And so I must.

Gentlemen, if you think that a woman at the bar, in the club or in the grocery store is attractive and you think that you'd might like to get to know her, please, for the love of all that is good and right in the world, simply walk up to her and say hello.

You don't need a pick up line. You don't need to insult her. But you do need to say something.

If you stare and point and talk about her with your friends, she will get creeped the hell out.

I am pretty sure about this one.

Last night, I was with two friends waiting for some more friends to meet us at a certain Irish bar in Chinatown. A group of very attractive women were behind us at another table. And for an hour and thirty minutes, three men stood and stared at the women behind us talking about which one they "could get away from the group and meet."

Creep #1: The blonde. The blonde. I can get her.

Creep #2: Yeah. She's hot. Get on that.

Creep #3: Mumble mumble.

Meanwhile, another guy walks up and starts entertaining all of the attractive women. He makes them laugh, asks them questions and starts paying attention to one of the women in particular. He gave the other men an opening.

Did they take this opening?


Instead the creepy men continued to stare, stare and stare again with faces like serial killers. I, for one, was uncomfortable, and I was just a tired, old, bystander.

I recalled the days when I actively went to bars to hang out and flirt with boys (yeah. it was last week, but that's beside the point right now), and I would be very uncomfortable if someone stared at me for a while before saying something. For some reason, I just felt like the chances of ending up in the trunk of a car were upped because of the creepy factor and I would not end up talking to someone who might otherwise be a nice fellow.

So, stop being creepy, gentlemen at Irish bar in Chinatown. Just go up to the ladies and say hello. If they aren't interested, they'll let you know.

And this doubly applies to salesmen at a certain mall in Virgina who felt the need to chase me and a certain attractive blonde down into Nordstrom's because he thought he could creep us out enough to get us to buy his shoddy products.

If we're not interested in what you're selling, we let you know.


Airam said...

You know those are the guys that go home and jack off to porn.

Pascal √Čbert said...

You know it's not the creepy guys whom you need to watch out for, right? It's the charming ones who stuff you in the trunk.

Given that this is by far the creepiest comment that I could ever hope to leave, I think we can agree that I'm one of the good guys.

Man Logic. What's not to love?

Claven said...

Airam - You say that in such an insulting tone.

I was actually discussing this the other day. For everytime I read or hear something like this, I've heard my chick friends tell TEN times more stories complaining about some guy who probably said little more than "hello."

Essentially Me said...

Airam is a bitch.

ma said...

Airam, Probably. But the non creepy ones probably do it too?

Pascal Ebert, I love man logic and you're right, but the creepy ones still give off creepy vibes...

Well, I think that "Hi, I'm Claven. I thought I'd come over and say hello." would be just fine with your chicas.

Essentially me, Haha. No she's not. Unless she wants to be.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Yeah, I think you're much better off going in early for two reasons:

1) if you wait too long, you become "That guy" and they will write blog posts about you.
2) if you wait, you will only build your anxiety up, not your courage.

Anyway, I think, in general, going to bars to pick up people is a bad idea (unless you are an alcoholic). I have much better success just doing things that I enjoy (going to art shows, meditation class, salsa dancing, live music) and not trying to pick up. When you are enjoying yourself you give off a positive vibe that is very attractive to others, especially if you're not there for the purpose of getting laid.

JordanBaker said...

I just realized something:

You have recently blogged about architecture, bathtubs, and creepy.

You should now blog about something that starts with a D.

ma said...

Jordan Baker, you're on!

cuff said...

I never went to a bar to pick up anything other than a drink. However, it is great fun to watch the pickup maneuvers that do go on around you.

And airam, if that's an offer, then you're on!