25 August 2008

My Answer, the What ifs, and a 100th posts.

What if life weren't so complicated?

What if things didn't have to be so proscribed, what if they didn't have to be the way that they are? What if you had just tried?

What if I hadn't cared so much? What if I had chosen a different career, a different city? A different anything.

Today a new friend said, "I'm so surprised that you're not married, MA. You seem like you should be. You're so grounded."

What if I were married? Would things be different right now? Easier? Harder? Would I still be writing to figure out what is going on with me? Would I be making cupcakes for a kid or a couple of kids?

What if that one dream I had were true? What if I did live in that green bungalow? What if that scene where I was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper was a commonplace activity? What if watching them run by me to see you actually could happen? Would I be any happier than I am now?

Why are these certain things on my brain?

Why is this post so rambly and weird?

What if I hadn't written the post at all?

7 comments:

Dexter Colt said...

This reminds me of the structural equations class I took in grad school.

That class hurt my brain. A lot.

Dexter Colt said...

That being said...I'm a big fan of trial and error.

Essentially Me said...

Oh my head hurty from all these what if's.

Essentially Me said...

Oops sorry Dex, my comment is very similar to yours. I should probably read comments before posting my own.

Casey said...

What if you were weaker?

What if you were dumber? Weaker?

You're one of the most effective human beings I know.

When I wonder what someone thinks of what I do, I'm usually thinking of you.

If any of those what-ifs had come to pass, you might have screwed up who you are now. And I'm very glad you didn't.

What if you weren't such a good friend?

My life would have been a lot harder the last few years.

Jenni said...

What if I didn't have that third glass of wine last night?

All kidding aside, I have been rummaging through a significant amount of "What ifs" for the past...oh....Two or so odd years. More so in the last six months.

I think we could both use some help help figuring ourselves out.

cuff said...

You need to turn that post into a song. What if you did that?

All of life is a trade off (unless you're insane or abnormally happy -- which is the same thing), and I think we all wonder about the what ifs, the roads not taken.

Right about now I'm figuring I'm trading another four years of my personal life interests to have well-balanced kids.

Gather rosebuds while you may.