07 August 2008

Three open letters to people who workout at my gym.

Letter #1:

Dear trainer girl with the perfect body,

You are amazing and unassuming. You get on the treadmill and you run. The boys who work at the gym sit mesmerized as they watch you run effortlessly. The older men stare at you from behind as they are on the elliptical runner. (I'm worried you're going to give one in particular a heart attack). From my vantage point (as I stand on my nemesis the stairclimber), you represent what the ancient Olympics strove for--athleticism, humility and kindness. One of these days, one of the goofy boys will tell you how utterly awesome you are. I would like for you to be my trainer. Note to self!

Rock on with your bad self,

MA.

Letter #2

Dear Jerky McJerkface,

Stop hitting on women at the gym while you're supposed to be working out. It's weird and creepy. Stop picking up huge weights and grunting. It's really stupid.

I also think your purple workout shirt is lame.

MA.


Letter #3

Dear everyone else at the gym,

I like how we all wave and acknowledge each other in a non creepy way (c.f. Jerky McJerkface). We are all working towards our fitness goals together. I like our collaborative spirit. Yay us.
I'm glad that we are gym friends who don't feel the need to hang out and talk too much. We're there to work out. Not be best friends.

Best wishes on your endeavors for a hot and or fit body,

MA.

4 comments:

Dexter Colt said...

My gym has more than one Jerky McJerkface. I'd like to think I'm not one of them.

Megarita said...

This is the reason I really love my gym. It is so not a scene. (Kinda like our old gym!) Everyone's just trying their best. [Although I just had a flashback to seeing one of our professors at the Uni gym working out. Tank top, short shorts, and all...shudder.]

Casey said...

I try and work out before 7:00, that makes it a little easier to avoid the dumbshits who want to be seen.

That's all I have to offer. But I would like your trainer's phone number.

Jenni said...

Dear M.A.

I wish you went to my gym. We'd have a blast!

Jenni

Also, on that note. I have a friend in my morning spin class. We like to make jokes and egg each other on. The instructor keeps threatening to make us sit in the front and/or separate us.

It's people like this that make going to the gym fun. :)