As I watched over 130 students descend upon 1200.00 worth Chinese food like vultures at the sight of dead rotting cattle flesh, it became perfectly clear to me.
I am wasting my education, or what little of it I remember of it. (I blanked on the name Horatio in Hamlet the other day while talking to a friend who is writing a paper for SAA. What the fuck is that?)
I haven't been interested in reading my architecture magazines; they are piling up--unopened-- in the pretty red box I bought to house them. I am too tired to read them or anything when I get home after solving uninteresting problems for students.
I have these dilettantish fits and starts and I haven't finished a book in a few weeks and now I want to. I haven't had an intellectual conversation not having to do with the inabilities or stupidity of students in weeks. I'm tired of being addressed as Mrs. Academic and even more tired of being treated like an unappreciated mother or housekeeper.
I'm tired of doing a two and a half jobs. I'm tired of unappreciative "customer service" oriented students.
I am tired of not teaching something I know and know well.
I'm tired of the bullshit politics at work.
I'm tired of not having enough time to do my job well.
Oh, and apropos of nothing in this post, I'm tired of hearing about the tanking economy and I think you jerkfaces in banking and finance should have taken more humanities courses and gotten something out of the liberal institutions you hate. Take your millions and go away.
I'm tired of being tired of being tired.