Sigh.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Sadly, no." (a wee bit of sarcasm there from yours truly.)

"Hey, but you're pretty cute. Why don't you have a boyfriend? Why not?"

"Uh. I don't know. I'm nice to old people, small children and I don't kick puppies, so I'm not sure."

Gentleman, it's really hard to answer that question. Please don't ask it. The only thing that's worse is asking why I'm not married.

Thank you.